


No More Illusions

by peacock_francophile



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Loki’s not perfect in this fic, Sad Loki, Thor: The Dark World, but he’s not evil either, this is Loki-centric, whatever have fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 14:11:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacock_francophile/pseuds/peacock_francophile
Summary: Loki’s point of view leading up to and including Thor’s visit to his cell.





	No More Illusions

**Author's Note:**

> What did I do

Despite the fact that somebody is screaming, glass is being shattered, books are being ripped, and the sparse decor that sits in Loki’s cell is being thrown, Loki can only hear one thing: a small voice in the back of his head, softly repeating she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead and it’s your fault. 

Loki definitely isn’t one to take the blame or dwell in guilt, but for some reason, he can’t get the thought out of his head. He knows, he just knows that if he had been out of this stupid cell, he could have saved his mother. He has magic beyond Odin and Thor’s dreams, and definitely beyond Frigga’s expectations. He is powerful, yes; but not powerful enough to save the one person who still cared for him, and who he still cared about. 

In the back of his mind, Loki realizes that he is the one screaming. Screams of fury, not screams of grief or devastation as some might do. He’s infuriated, downright insane as his fists connect with a table. At first, he used his magic to destroy his surroundings, but as his anger took over, he found physical pleasure as he bruised his hands on the nearest destroyable object. 

A searing pain in his foot brings his rage to halt, and with a slight gasp Loki stumbles to his knees. A shard of glass from who knows what has embedded itself into the sole of his foot. The wound starts deep blood, but Loki can barely feel it. He slumps against the wall, emotion draining out of him, replaced by something nigh to apathy. 

If he hadn’t told that creature which stairs to take… would it have been stopped? Would it never have reached his mother? Would it never have gotten away?

If Loki hadn’t helped the Dark Elf, would Frigga still be alive?

Loki absentmindedly pulls the glass out of his foot, watching it slide from the flesh and blood trickle more freely from the cut. He stares at the transparent wall that faces out into the hallway. His reflection stares back. His face is even paler than usual, and his eyes are shadowed. His hair is a complete mess and he should probably do something about that foot. It doesn’t matter, though. Not really. Nothing seems to matter that much right now. 

He doesn’t know how long he sits there. How can he, when he can’t even see the sun? It feels like days. Maybe it is. Loki tries to sleep, but quickly abandons the idea when every time he closes his eyes, he can only see his mother’s warm smile. 

So Loki sits there. He sits there, staring at himself. Staring at the person who couldn’t save his mother, who maybe even killed his mother. After hours of thoughts and emotions and anger chasing each other in his head, Loki snaps again. 

He still doesn’t move, but he screams. And it’s a scream of fury, yes, but now he’s grieving, because it hits him that he’ll never, ever see his mother again, that the last time he saw his mother she wasn’t even real, just a hologram spell that Frigga herself had taught to Loki. 

Loki’s foot throbs and his throat is raw and his head is pounding from lack of sleep and his eyes are red and dry and everything just hurts. His scream dies as quickly as it started. He collapses back against the wall. The guards outside look more frightened of him than they did when he had a curving smile and dagger sharp eyes. 

The voice starts up again in Loki’s head. It’s slower now, and softer, but there. She’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead…

Footsteps jerk him out of his reverie and into the real world. Familiar footsteps. Barely thinking, not moving, Loki conjures an illusion. An image appears around him; himself, proud and healthy, gleaming eyes and sleek hair; unbroken furniture; neat books lying on a table. Thor appears around the corner, wrapped in gray raiment and wearing a grim look. 

“All this time, and now you’ve come to visit me,” Loki makes fake-Loki say. “Why? Have you come to gloat? To mock?” Thor would love that, wouldn’t he; telling Loki all about how he tried to save Frigga, but just couldn’t, and all the while Loki was sitting here, fiddling his thumbs in prison. 

“Loki, enough,” Thor says quietly. “No more illusions.”

Loki doesn’t say anything for a moment. He wonders in the back of his head hoe Thor knows. He lowers the illusion. 

Thor doesn’t move as he takes in the messy scene, but Loki thinks he sees something in his face change. Loki feels a flash of anger again. He doesn’t want Thor’s pity. 

But the anger fades instantly. The same dull, emotionless throb returns. His head is reclined against the wall and he cannot muster the energy at the moment to lift it, so he just peers at Thor. 

“Now you see me, brother,” Loki says softly. “Did she suffer?”

“I did not come here to share our grief,” Thor says flatly. “Instead I offer you the chance of a far richer sacrament. “

“Go on.”

“I know you seek vengeance as much as I do,” Thor continues, which is funny, because Loki hadn’t considered it, but now that his adopted brother mentions it, desire for revenge floods him. If he could just get his hands on that monster…

“You help me escape Asgard and I will grant it to you; vengeance. And afterwards, this cell,” Thor finishes with a humorless smile. 

Loki chuckles. “You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?”

“I don’t. Mother did. But you should know that when we fought each other in the past, I did so with the glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere. That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me and I will kill you,” Thor growls ominously. 

Loki considers. In his heart, he already knows his decision. Anything is better than this god-forsaken cell that has nearly driven him insane from boredom. Besides, Thor might think he’ll be able to wrestle him back into prison after his little escapade, but Loki is smart enough to see an opportunity when it comes, and he knows that somehow, he’ll manage to escape Thor’s grasp and become truly free once more. 

That, and Loki can’t wait to meet Malekith again. His hands shake with the anticipation of what he will do the Dark Elf. 

He turns his head and smiles wickedly at Thor. “When do we start?”

**Author's Note:**

> I love Loki way too much so  
> Hope y’all enjoyed and stuff  
> All the dialogue belongs to Marvel as do the characters and you know the rest  
> My tumblr is peacock-francophile and also the-first-refrain


End file.
